Dance 10, Looks 3

backstageI didn’t get the part.

Truth be told, leaving the auditions, I knew my chances were slim. The competition was tough. So when the official call came yesterday, I was disappointed, but not surprised.

I took a gamble and lost. There were three sets of auditions in March for three shows I was interested in. Unfortunately, they were in reverse order of my interest. So, I opted not to go for either of the first two and went for the third.


There was nothing to do but to go home and break out the emergency Thin Mints.

Oh. Hell. No.

Here’s the thing.

I know as a middle 50ish character actor that possible parts for me are limited. My size doesn’t help. For some shows, there’s just not enough spandex or hair color to fit me into a part. While I’m less large that I used to be, I’m still tall and big-boned.

This is my blog. I don’t have to say that I’m fat.

The absolute wrong thing to do (mmmmm….Absolute) is to drown my sorrows in alcohol or sugar.

Instead, I focus on what I can do to make the next time better. I wrote recently that I need to get back on track with the health and fitness thing. And, while I’ve not made it back to the Y (staying up beyond midnight reading or writing sort of squashes that), I have been walking on those rare days when the weather was clear and making better (and fewer) food choices. I can notice a difference.

At last count I’ve been in rehearsals or performances for a show for the last 22 months. I don’t really consider acting my career (oh, how I wish it could be), but it is a (second, actually third) job. For an amateur only turned professional in recent years, 22 months of steady acting is not too bad.

Not currently being in a show does allow me to focus on things like exercise and health, yard work and, well, writing. My wife also reminded me that I could spend more time with our son.

Ouch. But, true.

The other thing is that, while this was a show I really wanted to do, it’s far from my first rejection. I did four shows in 2013. I auditioned for three times that many. What I’ve realized is that it’s important to go to as many auditions as possible. Even the ones I’m skeptical about. I made a choice this time not to do that, and it didn’t work in my favor.

Greg Apps writes at

The actors who succeed in auditions are those who are adventurous and make unexpected choices—the actors who instill energy and appeal into a character. These are the actors that are remembered and are seen again—if not a call back for this role, then a different opportunity in the future.

Ironically, even as I was writing this, I got an email asking if I’d be available for an Easter related performance. Not a full show, but still, it’s acting.

Plus, right now on my calendar, I have two audition opportunities in April. More are coming. Other venues have not announced their shows for the summer or next season.

My challenge?

Get better. Get thinner. Get busy.

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