RECAFFEINATED MONDAYS: I Didn’t Meme That

Coffee – the finest organic suspension ever devised. It’s got me through the worst of the last three years. I beat the Borg with it.

Kate Mulgrew as Captain Kathryn Janeway, Star Trek Voyager

Remember a couple of weeks ago when I wrote about those times when a wrong answer brings out the right answer? [When the Internet is Wrong]

This is not one of those times. But it’s similar.

Saturday I had a list of things that I wanted to accomplish.

Spoiler alert: I actually got through the entire list. Mark the date on your calendar.

It’s like they say to old men with prostate issues. Not that I know any.

“Never pass up a urinal because you’ll never know when you’ll see another.”

There’s more to that, but this is a family blog.

So, write this date down. Who knows when I’ll have another day of finishing my list?

The days was almost in peril when I went to make coffee and realized that we were out of filters.

Of course, I posted about it on Facebook. Just to have a morning snark.

I had multiple suggestions of how to remedy the situation, chief amongst them, “use a paper towel.”

What my friends didn’t realize is that there was no way I’d post a status like that unless I’d already found a solution. Way back in the pantry were some coffee filters. Just the wrong kind. But, they adapted quite well.

Instead of a solution to my problem, what i wanted was for people to comfort me in my whine.

I didn’t want them to tell me how to make coffee.

I wanted someone to join me in weeping under the juniper tree whilst a raven brought us Starbucks.

That’s a slight scriptural paraphrase. If you don’t get the reference, look it up. It will do you good.

I realize my friends were just trying to be helpful, and I do appreciate that. But, I was just finding an excuse to be a smartass on the Interwebz.

That’s most of what I do these days.

Invariably, people will show up who just don’t get my quirky sense of humor.

I’d tell you that I could explain it to you but I can’t understand it for you, except that some of you would get that wrong and I’d have to try to explain that and we’d never get out of that loop in the space time continuum.

I, on the other hand, am just excited that I spelled continuum correctly the first time.

All of this just means that I have to be careful about what I post. Even if it’s a joke, someone is going to take it the wrong way and either try to help me out or just be offended.

I have long considered myself an equal opportunity offender because we just don’t laugh enough.

I know the Facebook overlords don’t laugh enough because I had two posts in the last year land me in Facebook jail. Never mind that i shared them from someone else’s post.

I’m sure that I will one day soon post something that is misinterpreted.

But let’s be clear. It won’t be about coffee.

That’s not a laughing matter.

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